Joyful Purpose

True Love ...

I finished stitching this sweet heart yesterdy as an homage to my mare Ebony and my passionate love for horses.

The stitching is from Pam Garrison's stitching line and the rest was influenced by the class I took at French General.

For Morgan

" ... without a horse in my keeping I would feel as if I had lost touch with the earth "  - Beryl Markham

In May of 2008 I felt like I had lost touch with the earth ...

My beloved soulmate Ebony passed.

 I never thought I would get over my grief.  It was through my art that I did.  I still miss her each and every day but now it is more sweet than bitter.  A friend told me while I was grieving that one day Ebony's spirit would come to rest inside of me.  That one day I will feel her strength and love in every breath.  Now indeed I do. 

Recently, Morgan, lost her long time four legged soulmate and is feeling like she has lost touch with the earth.  So Morgan this is for you - an understanding, a comfort in knowing that one day your sweet one will come to rest within you ...

A Remembrance Book

A Book of dear Friends

This is the other book that I made at Art and Soul with Judy Wilkenfeld in her class "Aging Gracefully"  I decided to put my own twist on it and created a book of all the dearest friends in my life - my horse partners ~

 

left a photo of a quilt my mother made me of all of my horses
right my latest Creus ( the horse I lease) and me at 40

Rio Concho and me at 13
 
Mariner my first horse at 7

My sweet girl Ebony and me at 28

Habi and me at 17

A Remembrance Book

I created this remembrance book for my darling sweet girl Ebony who I lost this past May after 18 yrs in Judy Wilkenfeld's class Just in Case at Art and Soul in Portland.  First, a little about Judy and why I took 3 days with her.  She is incredibly generous of spirit - sharing all her techniques and thoughts and ideas freely, she is encouraging and supportive, and she herself puts all the meaning and nuance into her own work which is what drove me.  I was very happy about how the book turned out and more than anything it really was a process in my grieving. 

Nuance~

horseshoe nails - 2 - to represent the two shoes she wore on her front feet
her name

The button pin that I used to wear at the nape of my neck when I showed her~

a piece of her mane is braided held within
an antique bag with a beaded rose patch because she love to smell roses~

A metal circling the day she was born and a blue ribbon~

Pictures of her sweet face and a copy of a painting I did of her~

Pictures of the two of us~

A picture card with a poem that reads:
I haven't swept the flower path
to welcome guests,
But for you my friend,
the gate to my garden
is
always
open

T'u Fu

A copy of a painting that I did right after she died~

A photo of her on the morning she passed, a calendar page with the date of her death and an E for her name~

I love this book and more than anything it is a part of her that I will always cherish.

Remembrance part deux

This was done in class with Judy Wilkenfeld in Aging Gracefully - I put my own twist on it ~

This is another remembrance book of all of the horse partners in my life over the past 33 years

a photo of a quilt my mom made me that has all the names of my horses
on the right is me and Creus

me and Rio Concho my POA

Me and my very first horse at 7yrs ~ Mariner~ thoroughbred cross

me and Ebony AQHA

me and Habi ~ Arabian

... I should feel I had lost contact with the earth

 

.... without ... a horse in my keeping, I should feel I had lost contact with the earth. 
I should be as concerned as a Buddhist monk having lost contact with Nirvana.

                                                                                           ~ Beryl Markham

I found this quote and for the first time I felt that what my heart is feeling was expressed aptly in words.  This is how I feel.  So I started riding with a trainer that I have really connected with 3 times a week - and it is helping - helping me heal.  Above is a painting I am working on as a study in preparation for this ...

a 36" x 60" painting that captures the spirit of my beloved mare - my sweet Ebony - it is helping

~ a friend told me that in processing this grief that she (Ebony) and I were both numb - but in time that her spirit would return to me and become part of me - to give me strength, courage, and safety

... it is beginning

Stage 1

Laying out a drawing to find scale on red rosin paper first

Stage 2

Drawing on the canvas

Stage 3

Laying down first paint layer

 

 .... to be continued

Every Day

This was my dear girl's last day.  She still was beautiful til the very end of her 28 yrs on this earth.  I miss you every day sweet one - every day.

Farewell my dear friend

Farewell my sweet sweet girl.  She was my best friend for 19 years without fail she was there for me with unconditional love, a nicker, a soft nose to kiss, and a sure and steady presence.  Ebony turned 28 on May 10 and on May 12 she moved on to a place that I believe has endless green pastures, no pain, and an endless supply of carrots.  She was a constant strength in my life and I cannot imagine it without her.  I will miss her every day  without question.  My husband Mark bought her for me on our first Christmas together.  There has not been too many days since then that I haven't seen her.  Yesterday, after weeks of trying to get her well and pain free - I let her go.  It was the hardest goodbye I have ever made and my heart feels like there is a huge hole in it.  I know I did the right thing, the unselfish thing, the kind thing - I let her go when she had a perfect morning - she went out to graze in her favorite pasture with he buddy Spot eating grass in the sunshine, I gave her a bag of carrots for them to share and I told her how much I loved her and I thanked her for all she had given me.  And I said goodbye and that I would see her on the other side when my time comes.  My heart is broken and I miss you beyond measure.  I love you my sweet, sweet girl - my rose smelling horse.